Sparrow's Reality

It gets annoying when you are sitting in class and you're sad because the guy you like could hardly ever like you more than a friend and you never get to talk to him anymore because you don't sit beside him in algebra and then a bunch of people ask you what's wrong because now your eyes are watering. (Yes, I know that was a run-on sentance, but I don't give a crap about that!) Then you have to lie and say its allergies. *sigh* I know people are curious about why you are sad, but can't they leave you in peace? Chances are they don't even care about your emotions, so why tell them? Lie. Yes, I lie a lot daily. I try to be truthful, but I need to lie to guard myself. Lies make up my sheild.

Yes, the dude mentioned above is indeed Squirrel. I know I should get over him, but I can't. I'm an idiot for that reason. I just... need someone, you know? Someone to trust. Squirrel is an honest guy. Funny too. He might've been able to make me laugh when I needed cheering up. So my heart latched onto him, and even after he honestly told me he didn't like me the way I liked him, my heart still holds on. And everytime I see him... it hurts. I can feel my heart breaking. Even so, it won't let go, and my heart's dying because of this. And no, it's not all about Squirrel. It's just the cold fact that I'll probably never find that person. And so my heart holds on.

So for my own sake, I've hollowed out a little hole in my sorrow. A shelter. It's at times like these when you need your own comfort to survive.
A home of lies, sorrow, and broken love is all my heart has now.

Dear Heart,
Forgive me for this pain I've laid upon you.
I wanted so much to be happy,
all my actions have done is brought you more pain.
I'm sorry.

~Sparrow